wide loaders

you people with wide loads, you really piss me off. here's the thing, if there's two-feet of space on the subway bench and your ass is two and a half-feet wide, don't sit down. that's why your parents gave you that plastic toy when you were little, the one with all the shapes cut out of it and the corresponding geometric pieces. it taught you that a square wasn't going to fit into a circle, that a triangle wouldn't fit into a rectangle. from this you should have gleaned which space the bredth of your flesh would fit into, and which it wouldn't. but you didn't learn. and so you sit on me. and like an unwelcome airline blanket, that excess 6-inches of polyester-covered lard lies across my thigh like a coating of silly putty. do the math and keep standing.