leg spreaders

you who spread your legs way way apart when you sit on the subway, you really piss me off. you take up the room of three with your hip-opening real estate grabbing. and you are mostly men. are they really that big? if they are, perhaps you should be standing, let them hang loose. it's just horrible how you sit there with your legs akimbo while the visibly pregnant woman on crutches carrying a 32" television set stands before you, balancing precariously between stops on the local. you spread, as if the subway bench is your throne, as if we are your royal subjects and it's rude, so rude. pull those legs together or i'll be forced to take a seat on that elephantine thigh of yours.